Starting conversations about money with ageing family members can feel daunting. You might worry about sounding intrusive or making someone you care about feel uncomfortable.

But approaching these topics early shouldn’t be about personal gain. Rather, it should be about ensuring your relative’s wishes are respected and that they feel secure knowing their future is properly planned.

If handled thoughtfully, these discussions can offer peace of mind, helping to ensure your relative and the wider family are prepared for future costs or financial decisions.

Read on to find out more.

It’s important to approach such conversations with care and consideration

Discussing topics such as a will, trust arrangements, or care plans with older relatives may provoke a defensive reaction. They may feel as if you are trying to push them into making decisions they don’t want to make or are thinking about yourself rather than them.

It’s important to ensure your relative knows that the purpose of the conversation is to understand their needs and wishes, so their preferences are respected.

Beginning a conversation with “Have you thought about what you might want to do if…” is typically going to be better than “I think you should…”

You can then gain better insight into their needs and, later, bring in the wider family’s perspective if appropriate.

You can put together a care and living plan that respects your relative’s preferences

Discussing care and living arrangements is often one of the most sensitive conversations a family can have with an older relative. Yet it’s also one of the most important.

As their needs change over time, understanding their preferences in advance can help prevent uncertainty and stress. Having this conversation early also means their wishes are clear should they ever lose the ability to make decisions for themselves.

If they don’t require too much support but are perhaps lonely on their own, they may want to live with family. Others may need occasional help at home, while some could require full-time residential care. Each scenario comes with different financial and emotional considerations.

Talking through options in advance and discussing how costs could be covered – whether through savings, pensions, annuities, or other means – can help avoid stressful, last-minute decisions and ensure your loved one has a say in how and where they live.

A Lasting Power of Attorney can protect their wishes

A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) is a legal arrangement that allows someone trusted to step in and make decisions if your relative can no longer do so. This can help ensure that their wishes are protected and decisions are made in their best interest while they’re still alive.

There are two types:

• Health and Welfare LPA. This covers medical and care-related decisions and can only take effect if mental capacity is lost.
• Property and Financial Affairs LPA. This covers money management and property matters and can be used immediately if needed.

Your relative must have full capacity when registering the LPA, so it’s best to put this in place sooner rather than later.

Your relative can update their estate plan to fit their circumstances and match their intentions

Your relative may also want to revisit their estate plan to help protect it from future care costs or to update it based on other life events, such as bereavements or births.

This could entail rewriting their will or updating their pension nominations. It could also mean exploring estate planning strategies to make their estate more efficient or to protect assets from being used to cover care costs.

Tools such as trusts, gifting, charitable donations, or even Business Relief schemes can all help reduce future tax liabilities while supporting family members. Moreover, understanding allowances like the residence nil-rate band can also make a significant difference.

Exploring these possibilities together can ensure a smoother transfer of wealth and fewer misunderstandings down the line.

A financial planner can offer professional insight into your discussions and help facilitate them

A financial planner can help you broach sensitive and complex conversations with older relatives.

They can offer practical support such as updating wills, arranging LPAs, planning for care costs, and structuring estate plans in a tax-efficient way. This helps ensure everything is properly set up and managed to reflect your relative’s wishes.

Having an impartial professional involved can also help ease tension, ensure your relative’s needs come first, and take their circumstances into account alongside the rest of the family.

While these conversations may feel difficult to start, addressing them early can provide lasting benefits, offering reassurance and confidence for both your loved one and the wider family.

To speak to a financial planner, get in touch.

Email hello@solusfinancial.co.uk or call us on 01245 984546.

Please note

This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at retail clients only.

All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.

Please do not act based on anything you might read in this article. All contents are based on our understanding of HMRC legislation, which is subject to change.

The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate estate planning, cashflow planning, tax planning, trusts, Lasting Powers of Attorney, or will writing.

A pension is a long-term investment not normally accessible until 55 (57 from April 2028). The fund value may fluctuate and can go down, which would have an impact on the level of pension benefits available. Past performance is not a reliable indicator of future performance.

Approved by Best Practice IFA Group 09/10/2025.